My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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