just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
