Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
