Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
