shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
