im drinking this country out of the recession.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
