Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
