the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
