idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
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In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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