dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
