Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
