People in love make me want to vomit
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
