so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
