I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
