Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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