He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
