i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
This is the high leading the old right now
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
