he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
