he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
