She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
