Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
