i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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