dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
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