Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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