My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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