hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
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just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
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My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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