So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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