you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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