normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
