I'm drive I can fine osifer
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
