Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
