I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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