i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
