Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous