I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
