So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
