What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
