i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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