So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
