i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We left the knife in your bed.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
