its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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