Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm too high and old for this...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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