Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
