Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
