Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
