There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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