i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You were trust falling into bushes
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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