Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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