I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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