i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
