he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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