Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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