Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
