omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
