I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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