Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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