Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
