I forgot how hot balto sounded
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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