take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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