this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
