I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize