dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
