To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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