What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
